October 28, 2015: Random Thoughts on Writing Lately

So I haven’t been updating or writing on this for a long time. Not to say that there weren’t attempts to start my blog up again. However, most have ended up with a half written, incoherent draft and I eventually quit halfway through and turn my attention elsewhere. Of course while finishing my degree, there really wasn’t much to say. My days were pretty standard: wake up, teach, go to class, drown in work, Skype Donald, sleep, repeat. But since finishing my Master’s I’ve not had much of an excuse. I’ve even done some interesting things, like go to Scotland for two months, go to a juggling convention in northern Italy and move back to Germany, although that has been a confusing and frustrating mess which I try not to dwell on too much at one time, mostly because I don’t like the constant taste of bile in the back of my throat. So I could celebrate the awesome things I’ve done, or I could complain about bureacracy and stress, but I probably won’t do too much of either, at least not at the moment.

Donald has been insisting for months that I start writing again, and I think I should finally start taking his advice. The only problem seems to be that I don’t really want to write. I’ve made some awesome memories, and part of me doesn’t want to record them, because somehow, that seems to detract from them. It’s much like my thoughts on taking photos of everything I do. I appreciate the memories, but somehow the experience is slightly spoiled by the act of taking myself out of the moment in order to document it. It takes time to sit down and write about what I’ve been up to, which isn’t always a big deal (and not to give the idea that I don’t appreciate looking back on it, I really enjoy that bit). I’ve just been feeling like my time has been somewhat precious lately. This is the hard part about living abroad, I can’t be everywhere at once. Living in Germany means that I am sacraficing the friends and family back in Alabama and in Scotland. So instead of documenting everything I’ve been doing, like I normally try to do when traveling, I have been living in the moment, or at least attempting to do so.

However, I have had a lot more time lately considering I am still waiting on my residence permit here and I’m not allowed to work until I get one, so I might actually start trying to write about my summer (no promises though, I tend to be quite flakey in my blog commitments). But at least I’m going to have a shot at it.


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