My Lack of Posts Followed by my Thoughts on the Importance of Being Single

I know, it’s been forever since I last made a post here.  Efforts have been made (as well as efforts to try and make backlog posts as well so these long spans don’t occur so periodically), but to tell the truth, I am burnt out with a bad case of writer’s block.  I haven’t really wanted to write about anything until tonight, but after watching the new episode of Glee (and a conversation with a friend) over the issue of being single.  I made a facebook status asking your opinion on this matter, and hopefully you guys responded/will respond.  But this is a question I have thought about on several occasions, because if you’ve known my relationship history, I have been single more often than not.

I feel like our society does not quite promote being single (especially compared to promoting the idea of relationships).   Of course there is the image of the strong successful independent woman sometimes, but more often than not I feel like single people are kind of treated with pity.  You see the high up career woman depicted as sad and regretful she doesn’t have a husband or kids, or something of that nature.  You see romance movies all the time where the single woman not really looking for a man falls for [insert awesome quality] man.  I’ve also seen it in my personal experience when my parents would get concerned over my long periods without a boyfriend and some friend’s attempts to set me up with people.  I’m not dissing being in a relationship, it is quite wonderful, but I do not feel like it makes or breaks a person.

What I am getting to is the idea that being single helps people define who they are.  You get to answer your needs first and think about all the things in your life that need fixing without real concern for your love interest (or concerns with keeping up appearances for them).  I know that sounds selfish to a lot of people, but I really think it is important, especially for teenagers and young adults who are figuring out who they are and where they stand.  I think this not only helps a person individually, but I think it also plays a significant role in a relationship.  Based on my experiences being single and in a relationship, I feel like I have my own ideas and boundaries set up already.  I know where I stand on important issues and I do not feel like I make concessions on my personal beliefs and happiness that may later lead to bitterness and resentment.

Maybe it works differently for other people, but for me, being single is a very important element which helped me define myself and my beliefs and helps me in my relationship.  I’ve seen many people go from one girlfriend/boyfriend to the next with no breaks in between, and maybe that works for them.  I’m not dissing on anyone, especially if that makes you happy, but based on my experiences, I feel that being single is constantly underrated and is important to establishing healthier relationships in the future.

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