My Funk (This is not an interesting post)

Just as a note, this post was written more for myself than anything else.  I won’t be upset if you don’t read it.  In fact, if you don’t read it, I would be happier.  I just needed to write down my thoughts and feelings today.  I will have something much better to write about soon heh heh.

Okay, so I have to be honest.  Today was a horrible day.  I hardly got anything accomplished and what I did get accomplished did not come easy.  I’m not sure why I’ve been in such a horrible mood.  I did my German homework today and laundry, and that’s about it.  Oh, and I canceled my plans with my friends this evening.  Oh course they texted me to tell me how much fun I was missing out on, which put me in an even worse mood.  But really, I’m not mad at them and I know they wanted me to come.  There is only one other event to take note of today, which just made my day worse.  I found out that I have to rake my yard and bag up the leaves by Thursday.  Of course since it is such short notice, I have no one to help me.  So tomorrow I will wake up early and get to business.  Hopefully I can get done by the time I have to go into work.  If not, I will have to finish it after I get done with class on Wednesday.  Part of me almost wants to pay the $100 fine, but alas, I’m too much of a penny pinch for that.

I’m sorry, I know I’m being a Debbie Downer again.  But I’ve been falling into another funk as of late.  It started to bother me some time in the New Year time frame.  Of course before that there was the sadness from Shun leaving, but that was a different sort of feeling.  Now, I just don’t feel motivated at all.  I don’t feel like I can actually achieve goals and I’m starting to become a recluse again.  People in general (except maybe a few) just sort of irritate me.  I think it sort of stems back to my mood which can make me more or less patient.  So if I get short with you or do anything that makes you irritated (or have done for that matter), I am sorry.

I’m trying to think of the ways I have pulled myself out of these funks before.  I know in the past (and even these last couple of weeks) I have tried to surround myself with friends.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t get rid of my bad mood so much as it puts it off.  I might just need some alone time for a while.  The only thing with that is the fact that I can’t ever turn my brain off.  Therefore when I’m alone I think of all the things that bother me, which can sometimes make it worse.  I think the only thing I really can do at the moment is to have some alone time, but give myself a project to be done so my mind is busy, but I can feel like I’m actually doing something.

This leads me to the whole idea for a project thing.  I’m not really sure what I should do, but one of my 2010 resolutions was to get some hobbies back.  So I may try and get back into an artistic project of some sort.  I’m not sure just yet what I want that to include, but I will think on it this week and come up with something.  Thanks for reading if you did, and if you didn’t, well that probably saved you about five minutes of your life that you could have spent doing something better heh heh.


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